Introducing the Five Heart Keys

The Five Heart Keys to building better relationships

My experiences with my own relationship have led me to develop the Five Heart Keys. These are the five areas that I’ve identified to help you create a better relationship with yourself and to improve your relationship with others.

It starts with you

Following on from my previous Valentine’s blog about writing a love letter to yourself and more recently on understanding the NOW state, in both of which I talked a little about my relationship with myself and also that with my husband, many of you have asked how you can improve your own relationships.

So, I’ve explored the process I went through and developed the Five Heart Keys as a way to allow you to work on your relationships, firstly with yourself and then with others.

In this first video, I explain how I came up with the idea of the Five Heart Keys and tell you a little bit about them:

The Five Heart Keys are:

  • Seeing
  • Allowing
  • Flowing
  • Feeling
  • Being

These are the areas I feel are necessary to develop skills in to have a better relationship with yourself, which can then enable you to have a better relationship with someone else. They’re not sequential and they all interact with and enhance each other. All five are key for being able to establish a supportive long-term relationship. This doesn’t just have to be about your relationship with a partner; it can equally apply to other relationships in your life.

5 Heart Keys

In the next five videos, I’ll explain each of these Heart Keys in turn. I’ll invite you to do some exercises to explore where you are within each one and identify any skills that are perhaps lacking or you’re finding difficulty with.

I’d love your feedback after each video so that I can develop more tools and resources to help you – such as a workshop where we can work together on each area to help you develop better relationships.

In the next blog, I’ll introduce you to the first Heart Key, Seeing.

Love Yourself Part 2 – the NOW state

Introducing the NOW state

Following on from my last Valentine’s blog, this next video reflects on how the exercise of writing yourself a love letter went and introduces the NOW state as a way to be in the present moment and appreciate the strategies you have developed.

Writing a love letter

In the last blog, I introduced you to Heart Conscious Breathing and asked you to write a love letter to yourself or to a part of yourself that you feel needed validation. How did you get on with that?

I tried it myself and something quite interesting happened so, before I talk about the NOW state, I wanted to reflect on my experience and also on the feedback I’ve had from those of you who also tried the exercise. It was interesting that it brought stuff up for some of you, as much as it also gave you the opportunity to love a part of yourself.

Connecting with my 14 year-old self

When I did the love letter exercise, I connected with my 14 year-old self and I noticed that some of the strategies I’d adopted back then had come to the forefront in some problems I’ve experienced recently.

Watch the video below to discover what this meant for me and what I learned from it.

Being in the present moment

In the video, I also talk about the importance of being in the present moment and I talk you through the NOW state and what this means:

So there you have it; NOW stands for being a Neutral Observant Witness. Practise using the ABC breathing technique to become present and a Neutral Observant Witness of what’s going on with your body and your emotions.

In case you need a reminder of the ABC technique, watch my earlier video about it.

If you’ve any questions, or want to share your experience of NOW and ABC, please email me or leave a comment below.

Introducing the Five Heart Keys

My experiences with my own relationship have led me to develop the Five Heart Keys. These are the five areas that I’ve identified to help you create a better relationship with yourself and to improve your relationship with others. Over my next few blogs, I’ll introduce you to each of the five areas.

To find out more about Heart Conscious Breathing or to sign up for my Conscious Health Practice online course, visit www.conscioushealthpractice.com.

Love yourself this Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I’d like to share with you some of the things I’ve learned about meeting the right person and creating a good relationship, but before I do, I think it’s useful to explore the relationship we have with ourselves.

My husband Vic and I will celebrate our wedding anniversary this Valentine’s weekend. In the early stages of our relationship, we had many difficulties to get through – which we did before we married. The big turnaround for us both was when we stopped trying to fix each other and focused on fixing ourselves instead.

Write yourself a Valentine’s love letter

So, in today’s video I’d like to invite you to write a Valentine’s love letter to yourself. You may want to do this in general or in relation to a specific part of you, as I mention in the video:

Begin by following the steps of Heart Conscious Breathing and allow a part of you to come forward that may need your attention.

Here are the Heart Conscious Breathing steps:

  • A – Attention to the heart area
  • B – Breathe in and out of the heart area
  • C – Connect with a feeling of appreciation or gratitude

Do Heart Conscious Breathing for a couple of minutes and allow yourself to be in your heart, rather than in your busy head. Then write your letter. You might like to start it with:

“I am writing from the heart to say…”

And just allow yourself to write whatever comes up. Once you’ve done this, do Heart Conscious Breathing again and then read the letter to yourself.

How was that for you? Let me know in the comments how you get on.

You can do this exercise as many times as you need, either to different parts of yourself, or to say whatever you need to say. Remember, stay in the heart area and write whatever comes up; don’t get ‘thinking’ too much about it!

In the next video, I’ll talk about how to create a better relationship with yourself so that you can improve your relationship with others.

To find out more about Heart Conscious Breathing or to sign up for my Conscious Health Practice online course, visit www.conscioushealthpractice.com

People with cancer are not victims

Cancer is a symptom of a previous trauma, not a cause

On World Cancer Day (4 February), and as mentioned in this recent post, I wanted to explain why we shouldn’t be treating people with cancer as ‘victims’. Instead, we should be encouraging them to become curious and support them in releasing the trauma and back to health.

When someone has cancer, their body is making very specific cellular adaptations to information encoded in the body and mind that was stored at a time of trauma or threat to survival in the past. Stress and trauma are long established factors of ill health and the depletion of the immune system. There is scientific proof that our emotions can have an adverse effect on the immune system and interfere with the body’s own natural healing abilities.

It is both unhelpful and unethical to spread fear, anger and frustration about issues such as cancer – in the way that some current campaigns do – in an attempt to beat these diseases. Instead we should, while managing the symptoms, be seeking the root-cause and creating the right healing environment of love and understanding.

No mistakes

The body simply doesn’t make mistakes. Rather than seeing themselves as victims, people with cancer need to be encouraged to become curious of what’s going on and why, and then look at what we can do to release and process trauma and stress stored in the body and support the body back to health.

Cancer is a symptom of a previous trauma, not a cause. Treatments and health regimes need to support and empower people to self-regulate and heal themselves, rather than fill them full of drugs that have often been proven to be ineffectual or cause series side-effects.

Campaigns should be supporting people with a healthy diet, exercise and the tools to manage their physical, mental and emotional well-being, providing the best possible physical and chemical environment in the body for it to return to health.

With my root-cause analysis process, Conscious Health Practice, I help people – with cancer and other diseases – to find the root-cause of their symptoms and release the stress that is causing them, enabling the body to repair and heal itself.

For more information on Conscious Health Practice and how I can support you back to health, see www.conscioushealthpractice.com

David Bowie and Alan Rickman Were Not ‘Victims’ of Cancer

Do you want to understand the root-causes of disease?

I was very sad to hear last week of the death of David Bowie, a man who had so much impact in so many ways across so many generations.  And then, to hear that Alan Rickman had also passed away at the same age and in the same week, also of cancer.

The thing that makes me most sad is that both of these deaths – David Bowie from liver cancer and Alan Rickman from pancreatic cancer – might potentially have been prevented if the research and focus was in the right place. Rather than spending heaps of research money on drugs and treatments simply to manage the symptoms (many of which have debilitating or life-threatening side-effects themselves), it would be more helpful to look at the root-causes of the disease and what triggered them in the first place.

If David Bowie and Alan Rickman had understood the real cause of their illness and had the help and support to focus on healing the things that were triggering their body to run these programmes, they might not have been taken from us so soon.

They – and anyone else fighting cancer – are not victims. Their bodies were trying to adapt to traumas that they didn’t know about or understand. Managing the symptoms while at the same time seeking the root cause and creating the right healing environment – one of love and understanding, not fear and anger – would have been a far more successful strategy, as I explain in this video:

Watch the video on YouTube >> 

Let’s all stop being victims and instead start 2016 by taking back our power to become MASTERS of our own HEALTH!

I will shortly be making a video series on how to understand and take control of your health, looking at the key symptoms and illnesses that affect us today, starting with liver cancer and pancreatic cancers. The series will also look at diabetes, heart disease, muscular skeletal issues such as arthritis and muscle pain, asthma, eczema, skin cancer, lung cancer and Fibromyalgia to name but a few. The series that follows will also look in depth at emotional and behavioural issues such as anger and rage, eating disorders, depression and bi-polar disorder.

I will share with you the ‘HOW TO’ of health and wellbeing so that you can understand your specific symptoms and know exactly what to focus on to support your body in its own natural healing process.

We are born to survive, we are born to grow. But, to survive, grow and thrive we need to process stress and trauma and support the body back into its natural healing state. 

 Join me for my free webinar introduction: ‘Conscious Health Practice – Understanding the Root-Cause of Liver Cancer’ Monday 1st February 7.30pm – 9.30pm GMT.

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Or why not join Conscious Health Practice online membership and learning community to get unlimited access to all video series and webinars as well as full and unlimited access to the personal breakthrough course ‘7 Steps to Conscious Health Practice‘ as well as all the new monthly content and support.

Here’s to your vibrant health!

Being a Vegan Abroad – Part 3 – Digesting information

How was your Christmas? Did you observe your diet and emotions?

And have you noticed a relationship between the two? What got you reaching for the chocolate or the booze? How were you feeling when you just kept on eating even when you were full?

We had a lovely vegan Christmas dinner here at our resort. They’re very accommodating to a vegan diet, although there was some confusion with our order, which meant we had our Christmas dinner on Boxing Day! But we still had delicious vegan food on both days.

At this time when we often eat more than usual, I want to take a few moments to explore digestion in this next video. So I ask you:

How is your body at digesting information and situations?

Do you have digestive issues – irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), heartburn or other digestive irritations? The digestive system isn’t just about digesting food and drink. It tries to help you digest information or situations and will make adaptations to keep you safe. But your body can only respond ‘literally'; it can’t tell the difference between real and perceived danger.

Observing what you eat and your emotions while eating can help you unlock the triggers that might be causing your digestive problems. So what information or situation is your digestive system helping you with?

Conflict

When I’m locked in conflict, my body tries to adapt. For example, I have found that, when I find something difficult to take, like an opinion I really don’t agree with or someone forcing their way of doing things on me, this really affects my stomach. I really just can’t digest it. So, if I eat at this time, I feel quite uncomfortable. Also, if I am feeling really angry about something, I have an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and just have no appetite. In fact, if I have eaten, I tend to wish I hadn’t and feel a bit sick.

As a teenager I used to have chronic IBS, once referred to as ‘spastic colon’ by a doctor, which I thought was awful. It soon became clear that a ‘syndrome’ meant “we don’t really know what causes it or what to do about it”. I was given orange ‘Fybogel’ to help me go to the loo, which had no effect at all. I even once tried yeast tablets… As you can imagine, I blew up like a balloon! I learnt that for me, the symptoms I suffered with IBS were representative of me holding on, being angry and not being able to let it go. I needed to understand it and therefore my body held onto it until I did understand it. Watch the video to find out more:

So, what is you body trying to digest and how is it trying to help you? Notice what you’re eating when you suffer symptoms – do you have an association with a type of food or drink, or time of day you’re eating? How are your symptoms connected to your emotional state?

Stay tuned to see how we get on being vegans on a cattle farm over the new year!

To find out more about Conscious Health Practice check out our website www.conscioushealthpractice.com.

How NOT to make New Year’s Resolutions… – Part 1

… and change your life!

Are you already planning your New Year’s Resolutions? Are you making a list? Stop! Ask yourself how many of the things on your list you expect to change and stick to not just in January but throughout the whole of next year and beyond.

Hard, isn’t it! Have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to stick to a New Year’s Resolution? In this video, I explore why it’s so hard and I’ll encourage you not to make a list but to think about what’s going on and why you have the habit you want to break in the first place:

What do you think? I’d like to invite you to start noticing what your symptoms and your triggers are. What is it that makes you behave in a certain way or do the things you don’t like and want to change? What are you responding to?

In future videos, I’ll delve into this in more detail with you and look at a new approach so you can start the new year by making changes without the need for resolutions.

To find out more about Conscious Health Practice check out our website www.conscioushealthpractice.com.

Realistic Expectations

For my third video from Australia, I want to talk about realistic expectations. Many of you will be thinking about making changes in the new year, so I thought it’d be helpful to explore what’s realistic and achievable.

We put a lot of expectations upon ourselves when embarking on a programme of change but if you’re not prepared to do what it takes – and you might not always be – you’ll cause even more conflict in your system, making your goals even harder to achieve.

For example, if you’re having negative thoughts about your body when you want to lose weight or get fit, those negative thoughts will create cortisol, which will prevent your body from being in as good a state as it could be, so you don’t achieve what you want to. Watch the video to find out more:

We’re all a work in progress, so decide what’s your realistic optimum state. What quality of life would you like? What small adjustments could you make that won’t set off your own negative thoughts? What are you keen to change and what are the things you probably won’t do?

I look forward to hearing from you.

To find out more about Conscious Health Practice check out our website www.conscioushealthpractice.com.

Being a Vegan Abroad – Part 2

When I posted my first video from Australia last week, I intended to keep a video diary about what it’s like being a vegan abroad. However, I hadn’t banked on going into ‘second phase’ – the rest, repair and replenish stage – within a few days of being away, on holiday, meaning I’ve spent much of the last week getting over a bout of flu.

So, for this video I’ve decided to reflect on my relationship with food and observe how it has been changing during our travels and especially how it differed while I was recovering from the flu. Apologies for the background noise of the sea in some of the video!

Managing our relationship with food is complicated, especially emotionally, so I invite you to become curious and observe your thoughts and emotions and how they may be related to what you choose to eat.  I also invite you to eat slowly, consciously and mindfully. Be aware and present as you eat. What’s going on in your mind, body and emotional state?

What would you do if faced with a dish that you shouldn’t eat because of the moral or ethical choices you’ve made (like I was)? I look forward to hearing from you.

To find out more about Conscious Health Practice check out our website www.conscioushealthpractice.com.

Heart Conscious Breathing

Heart Conscious Breathing is the important foundation of any personal transformation work that we do, especially in Heart Conscious Healing. It is also a technique in itself that you can use to help in re-regulating your autonomic nervous system (ANS). Here we look at what happens to the body when in stress and how you can use Heart Conscious Breathing to bring you back to the present moment.

Heart Rate Variability

Regular breathing and attention to the heart regulates the pattern of your heart – your Heart Rate Variability (HRV). This in turn sends new signals to your brain and the rest of your body. This simple process brings you back to the present moment through the power of regulating your physiology, NOT by trying to use your thoughts and the control of your mind or emotions, which is almost impossible when you are in stress.

Fight, flight or freeze

When you are in stress you are in a different part of the brain; so thinking, reasoning, planning, being resourceful and creative are not really an option! In stress your priority is to escape or evade danger, fight to WIN (this is a ‘do or die’ drive) or if these options are not available, to freeze and fein death until the danger has passed. Sometimes after a freeze response you can go into fight or flight mode, still with the aim to evade the danger and get to safety.

No time for thinking

It is never a priority when you’re in stress to ‘have a nice think’ about how you would like to respond. These responses are hardwired survival responses and happen automatically. Quite simply, you need to be safe from danger to be able to come into your full cortical thinking, so this is offline until you are safe.

Stress triggers

During our early childhood experiences we learn what is safe and what is not safe. This is why different people respond differently to different situations – what one person perceives as dangerous (and therefore stressful) may not be how another person perceives it. The more we accumulate events that have not been dealt with and completed, the more stress can build up in the system because our body is primed to respond to many possible triggers or ‘cues’ to potential threats.

Being exposed to a life threatening situation means we ‘hardwire’ (like a short circuit response) the need to respond again in the future and this is why Post Traumatic Stress Disorder creates specific responses in the autonomic nervous system when certain ‘triggers’ alerts the system that there is a possible danger. Simple everyday things can become cues for someone to feel unsafe and need to respond. The person is ‘back in the moment’ of the original danger and adopts the original response.

Using Heart Conscious Breathing quickly informs the autonomic nervous system that the danger is ‘not happening now’ and allows us to become more in control of ourselves again, rather than being triggered into the response to a past event.

The ABC of Heart Conscious Breathing

A – Attention to the heart area (awareness)
B – Breathe in and out of the heart area
C – Connect with a feeling of appreciation for someone or something you are grateful for

This short video talks you through the simple Heart Conscious Breathing technique:

 

Just a few moments of Heart Conscious Breathing every day or when you really need it will give you the deeper ABC:

A – Alignment
B – Balance
C – Coherence

Remember, you cannot be in stress and growth/repair at the same time – give yourself time to replenish your energy, refresh your body and renew your true self.

Get back into the present moment with Heart Conscious Breathing.

To find out more about this and Conscious Health Practice check out our website www.conscioushealthpractice.com.