Heart Focused Healing™

How to love yourself one part at a time with HEART FOCUSED HEALING™

 

I have changed so much in the last few years that only when I am occasionally ‘triggered’ do I recognise the person that I used to be.

 

We are all a work in progress and there are sometimes residual energies of past trauma and stress that remain with us and cause us to react to situations and circumstances that pose a potential threat. These residual energies need to be processed and released by finding the deeper meaning in the past event so that we may expand our perspective of life and understanding of our animalistic survival situation.

In the absence of updated or more complete information, when a similar event to one that previously cause me pain or a threat to survival seem to be imminent, the fastest and most effective survival mechanism (ie. reaction) is one that has worked before – either by me or by someone in my family or in my collective field.

So, although I am no longer the person I used to be, it is still possible to feel the ‘old’ feelings and adopt old strategies and patterns. The big difference NOW is that I understand what is happening and I love the part of me that was doing everything it can to protect me. I have learned to love this ‘Ego’ part of me that in the event of a heightened emotional experience took all the available information on-board and made decisions for my safety. Without hesitation, whenever required, it still acts on survival instinct to keep me ‘safe’ by any means. How amazing is that!

It IS amazing and I am humbled by the intelligence of my body and my capacity to respond without thought at the mere whiff of a threat to my physical self or the ‘self’ that I have identified and created to be ‘me’. Contrary to what you might have read or heard elsewhere about the ‘Ego’, the existence of this ‘self’ is as vital as the body that breathes. This self is the pilot on my journey and navigates the terrain of the map that I encounter before me. My ‘Ego’ is my friend and my protector… but sometimes it’s operating on old, out-dated and redundant information. This means that as we grow up, change our situation and circumstances, we sometimes get results that are no longer desirable. Shouting doesn’t get me heard, fighting doesn’t win me friends and running away does not help me sort out relationship problems, nor are any of these responses good for my long term health.

We need a way to update the information and bring our ‘Ego-Self’ into alignment with the ‘True-Self’ that is connected and in touch with the bigger picture.

 

Our ‘True-Self’ remains ever connected and has information outside of this animal experience as it operates from a higher perspective. 

 

When we experience a threat to survival we respond instinctively as ‘pure animal’. This is normal and when an animal in the wild cannot run or fight it will freeze. When the threat has passed the animal follows the response with a ‘freeze release’ where it shakes the trapped energy from its system and eventually it reaches a state of balance again and goes about its business.

As conscious beings, in the split second that this freeze response happens, when we become so densely animal in our need to survive, we experience what we perceive to be a disconnect from that which is greater than ourselves alone. It is not real, but our experience feels like it. In that split second we have the most amazing survival technique and our sub-conscious ‘Ego’ takes a snapshot of everything, stores it in a database as a potential threat for next time. Animals in the wild rely on intuition and instinct for safety – this is inherent and is maintained by the release of the freeze response.

 

When we are unable to release the freeze, we revert to the information we have stored as our reference and we ‘construct’ safety.

 

It is possible to release this stored information with many different kinds of techniques, either through the body such as TRE Trauma Release Exercises or Peter Levine’s Somnatic Experiencing, through the emotions and thoughts such as PSYCH-K or EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques or entirely through the energy system such as EMOTrance or Qigong. However this said, ALL of these techniques are tapping into the energetic system via different ‘co-ordinates’ to get to the stuck energy and unprocessed information. Through each of these processes, the information is released and updated.

In order to release stress and trauma from the system, we need to create a sense of safety first. The deeper the sense of safety at the point of release, the deeper and more systemic the release of energy stored by past events and threats to survival.

My new technique HEART FOCUSED HEALING™ uses this concept to bring about great change. Combined with sending love and feelings of care and appreciation, the Ego-Not-True-Self (ENTS) parts are able to appreciate a new and updated meaning of past events. Using the latest scientifically prove techniques, we bring the body into a deep sense of calm and safety where we may SAFELY release past trauma and on-going stress from body and mind.

Through constant curiosity I have worked on understanding the parts of myself that have been protecting me for all this time.  Through loving these parts of ‘my-self’ my beliefs and perceptions have changed, my thoughts have changed, I have changed and my quality of life has changed dramatically.

Here is a video interview with Gary Williams of EFT Hub where I talk about some of the main concepts of my new technique. If you would like to learn HEART FOCUSED HEALING™ I will be introducing Level 1 (for personal use) in my new exciting 4 day personal breakthrough workshop CONSCIOUS HEALTH PRACTICE™ in Rochester, 30th April – 3rd May.

Book your place now: http://www.conscioushealthpractice.com

 

Book your place now: http://www.conscioushealthpractice.com

 

Are You Ready to Give Your Gift to the World?

Have you taken the training, done the study, practised the techniques and now want to launch your career in EFT,  EMO, Matrix or other Energy Therapies?

Do you wonder how the big names make it and get the platform to share their passion?

Are you like many others out there, trying to find your way, to find your niche, comparing yourself to everyone else – including your masters and trainers?

Are you wondering if you have what it takes to make it work when you see the competition?

Well, the real question is, are you ready to give your gift? Or, to put it another way, are you ready to be yourself?

Much as you admire and emulate your trainers,  you can’t give their gift – it’s theirs!

I have been privileged to train with some of the most amazing leading masters and trainers in their field, like Karl Dawson, Silvia Hartmann and Rob Van Overbruggen.

When I first came into the field of energy therapy it was through a personal necessity – I was in terrible physical, mental and emotional pain. I felt a complete victim of things happening in my life; other people were ‘attacking me’; people close to me did not understand me to the point where I hated them for it and I was too ill to have the energy to fight anymore. I was an aggressive alcoholic diagnosed with depression, chronic fatigue syndrome and a debilitating lumbar back problem.

I felt that it was impossible to be myself, in fact I was being someone that I hated and felt I had no control over myself, let alone anything else. At my lowest point, something happened that made me search for help.

It was the beginning of February and my Mum had just been visiting for Xmas and New Year. She could see my pain and felt helpless to do anything. My deepest fear was that nobody would understand me and everyone else would think I was mad. The more afraid I got, the more ‘mad’ I became.

When he was alive my grandad has been sectioned and I was terrified of this happening to me. And yet, I was being this different person, not in control, not rational and not stable. My Mum said to me, with the deepest love, “You know, you remind me of your grandad”.

Although I was not sectioned, I do believe at that time I was certifiable and a danger to others and myself.

Something had to change…

I searched the internet beginning with ‘anger management’ and through a convoluted series of clicks through websites going via America and a bunch of other countries I was led back to ‘EFT & Matrix Reimprinting’ with Karl Dawson in Brighton, where I lived. He was giving a training that very day!

This was a sign!

And the rest, as they say, is history.

 

As I learned EFT, EMOTrance, Matrix Reimprinting, HeartMath, NLP, PSYCH-K and other amazing tools to release stress and trauma and to change my perceptions of the world and people around me, it felt like the shackles of this depression, anger and fear began to fall away.  All the past trauma and stress in my life, the drama and the stories had all been stuck. For the first time in my life I was able to let them go – just as I had always believed was possible but just never knew how!

I began to see the ‘me’ that had been lost… the light that had been hidden in all the darkness and I began to be someone i like and even later began to love – maybe for the first time.

What a journey I had been on, out of darkness into light. I became hungry for more information and more learning and when I studied META-Medicine, for me this was the missing link.

That person I became, the illness, the pain, it all made complete sense. I could I see how amazing my body was to adapt to my perceptions and view of the world, even my behaviour was a result of specific stuck trauma and stress. My body, my behaviour was compensation, even over-compensation in relation to my deeper beliefs, and in updating my understanding of past events, by beliefs changed. My understanding grew and my weakness and fear became wisdom and strength.

Since my first experiences in EFT I have studied my masters and teachers and other experts in the field. I have used the NLP concept of modelling what works in others to excel in the areas I want to grow and have been a tireless student to meet the approval and validation of my masters so that I might move to the next level of understanding in my field.

And then, as an experienced EFT and EMOTrance Master Trainer and META-Medicine Master Trainer, I have found my next big lesson. Something very interesting happened. I became stuck. This ‘ stuckness’ manifested as frustration and even judgement. I was still comparing myself to everyone else, fellow students, even my masters. I began comparing my views of the world to theirs, my method of teaching to theirs, my students to their students. I loved teaching the courses I was accredited to teach, but I was asked to give my own opinions and began to resent the restrictions of the syllabus I had been given the honour to teach. I was even invited to work alongside some of my masters and found I was resistant to enter partnership for fear of not being able to do things my own way…

What did this mean?

I was like the teenager who starts to become restless and rebellious. No matter what Mum and Dad say, it’s somehow wrong. No matter how supportive they are being, it’s restrictive and no matter how right they are; “I don’t want to do it your way, I want to do it my – even if it’s wrong, I want to find it out for myself. “ This fledgling has found its time to leave the nest.

But lets not forget, this vital rite of passage in our human growth does not mean that we turn away from our parents. In fact we love them more for being the wind beneath our wings when we fly the nest and soar to new heights.

Of course this does not mean that we leave the family when we leave home – it just means that we mature to realise our true selves and to do things in our own way.

We all have a unique story to tell with which to inspire others. But I can’t tell Karl’s story, or Silvia’s story, or Rob’s story… I can ONLY tell my story and thats what makes me unique.

That’s MY gift. I am my gift.

Even though I could see my journey was unique, I still didn’t see my gift until I realised that it’s my learning that I need to share. Not what I was taught, but what I had learned

We each have a unique understanding – our own awakening, our own enlightenment. This is the light that we shine. We each have the light that will shine for others who are themselves in the dark where we once were. NO light is too dim, no epiphany too small.

It is your gift to shine. Shine brightly as you never know who is looking from that dark place. 

I have been truly inspired my by master and teachers and continue to be so. I am proud of my association with them and I hope to inspire my students in the same way that I have been inspired.

I have had insights, epiphanies and ‘aha’ moments that have changed the trajectory of my life in ways which I could never have foreseen. And as my path unfolds, I feel the closeness to that family that nurtured me and watched me grow.

In the words of Alexandra K Trenfor; “The best teachers are those who show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.”

So, the question is, are you ready to give your gift to the world? It is nothing more complicated than to give your unique self.  As Silvia says; “Be the gift that only you can give.”

But that’s the thing… you have to “BE the gift that only YOU can give.”

You will not compare yourself to others if you are being your own Master.

My new workshop CONSCIOUS HEALTH PRACTICE™ is my gift. It is the learning that I have unfolded on my journey. My unique fusion of all that I understand about the wisdom and intelligence of our bodies and the human energy system.

It is my mission to be my gift and share all that I have learned, beginning with this 4 day personal breakthrough workshop uniquely designed to bring together the powerful root-cause-analysis tools with powerful stress and trauma release tools.

Inspired by the best masters and trainers in the field of Integrative Health and Energy Therapies, I have created a programme that will enable people to become powerful MASTERS OF HEALTH™

In this specially designed integrative training you will learn how to put everything together and use your existing skills alongside new skills so that you can find the root-cause of your issues and release the stress and trauma from past events bringing wisdom, strength and growth.

You could learn in this 4 day workshop what has taken me years to understand. You could discover for yourself the wisdom and the healing power of your own body. If you would like to know more go to; www.intoalignment.com/event/conscious-health-practice and contact me directly for special information and offers.

Transcending Gender

What follows is an excerpt from my book: ‘META-Messages From Your Body’.

The book is an introduction to the study of the direct relationship between stress and dis-ease, however it is also a brief introduction to my own journey including the exploration of my gender and sexuality. I always considered myself to be ‘androgynous’ or more commonly know now as ‘agendered’ – nonbinary. I was born female, and during my early 20’s I transitioned to become more in alignment with my inner (more fluid) identity. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy and embarked upon a life long programme of testosterone.

This excerpt it taken from the Introduction of ‘META-Message From Your Body’

“When I look back at photos of myself, I feel that I have been different people at different times. I am not sure if this was because of a struggle to find my identity or a need to explore my identity. Perhaps they are one and the same. Those who know me will testify that I certainly don’t do things by halves, which is interesting when I consider that my whole life has been spent trying to avoid being pigeonholed and defined in any specific way. You could say that I went out of my way to remain undefined. I define myself as indefinable.

There are many ways to express your individuality. Those who struggle to define themselves may explore different routes. I expressed myself through my body. I claimed and celebrated my individuality with tattoos and piercings and, in 2000, I saw in the millennium by beginning hormone treatment and surgery for gender reassignment. Not to be a man, but to be androgynous – gender neutral.

Transcending gender

Just before I embarked upon this part of my journey I was ordained a Lay Buddhist of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives (Soto Zen). I used to spend a lot of time at the Telford Buddhist Priory and most weekends I would assist Reverend Alexander, the Prior. I remember speaking to him about my thoughts and feelings and I ended by saying, ‘I am not sure that makes any sense.’ To which he replied, ‘Oh yes, it is like transcending gender.’ I still find this the perfect description of what I have always endeavoured to do.

For as long as I can remember I have been ‘in the middle’. I am happy to be a woman, but have always felt limited by it. I enjoy being boyish, but do not want to be a man. I like to be in the middle and reserve the right to be anywhere on the sliding scale that feels right to me at any time. My androgyny and my desire for a ‘middle way’ is how I define and express myself. I have always been this way and so it was no great decision to begin hormone treatment and to have a bilateral mastectomy to bring out my more boyish aspects. It was as if it created a balance and gave carte blanche for my self-expression.

There are those who might think that the depression and chronic fatigue would be related to a struggle with my gender ‘issues’, but they are not. I had no struggle with my gender – it just always was. I had no big decision to make. I was very fortunate to have an understanding GP and an opportunity. I would define a transsexual as someone who is unhappy in their existing, gender-specific body, someone feeling trapped and betrayed. I had never felt this. I just felt limited. I did not hate my body; it just appeared to be the wrong vehicle in which to share whatever it was I had to give to the world. I was offered an opportunity to address this and make a change. I knew it was a part of my journey and I pursued it gladly. I always had the full support of my family and friends. I even had the support of the Catholic school where I was teaching at the time, although they were legally obliged to support me under the Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations 1999 (since replaced by the Equality Act 2010).

Because there is no real social protocol for the ‘gender-neutral’ and my return to school needed to be ‘managed’, I gave the school permission to define me in a male role in order to accommodate the changes I was making. My point was that if I genuinely felt neutral, then I did not care what role they assigned to me. And so I explored the extreme of living in a male role for a while, because I could. However, for me it was always about being in the middle, undefined. Limited by my job and position, it was not long before I moved to Manchester, where I could explore my new-found freedom more easily. It was liberating to be part of a much wider and more diverse community. And, whereas I had given away control of my life in unhealthy relationships, exploring my gender and sexuality gave me control over my life again.

My gender treatment has given me the most unique and awe-inspiring understanding of both men and women, of sex and sexuality and of the psychology of gender. I have been given the gift of knowing how a man and a woman thinks, reacts and perceives, a gift that I am able to bring to my work as a therapist. It is also a gift that I bring to my marriage and to all my relationships and interactions.

I was very excited to find out that there is an area of study in META-Health that sheds some light on my gender differences. This area is of course of great interest to me and I continue to study with my Master Trainer, Rob van Overbruggen, so that we might share more information about the META- Health view of gender and sexuality. I feel that my personal situation gives me authority to comment on some very specific areas and we will touch on them very briefly in Chapter 7 of this book. ”

If you enjoyed this excerpt, or it has some relevance to you please feel free to contact me: sam@intoalignment.com

I am looking for opportunities to give presentations and talk about my book and my journey so that I may offer support to people with gender issues or families struggling to understand.

The book can be seen and reviewed on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/META-Messages-From-Your-Body/dp/1908101709/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

And can also be ordered directly from me here: http://www.intoalignment.com/shop also, sign up for a free introductory ebook and my latest news and information.